martes, 3 de julio de 2012

Mi M.


Mónica, Moni, Ónica, MC, MD, Jessie, Chesi, esta va para ti ;)
Tú fuiste una de las primeras personas que conocí en la universidad: un sitio que cambiaría nuestras vidas por completo, al 100%, nuevas caras, nuevas circunstancias, nuevos amores...
Una de las primeras personas que conocí y mucho más. ¿En la actualidad? Una de mis mejores amigas en la que sé que puedo confíar plenamente, sé, que te puedo contar lo que sea y vas a intentar ayudarme lo máximo posible, como ayer mismo. Siempre estás ahí M. Y así lo has estado, nuestra amistad ha sobrevivido el ''año clave'', y que así sea durante mucho, mucho tiempo.
Gracias por tí, gracias por la música, gracias por secar algunas de mis lágrimas derramadas durante este año. Por acogerme en tu casa en pijama, a la media hora después de haberte levantado. Por la música. U da best.






miércoles, 6 de junio de 2012

REFLECTIONS


There was a time in my life when I was in love with someone who had not the same feelings for me, and please, believe me when I say that I'm not talking about the person you're thinking right now. It wasn't just the ''I-don't-feel-loved'' kind of thing, it was more, way more. I was in my last year at high school, struggling to find a TRUE group of friends who would accept me as I really was. I had been basically surrounded by lots of people, but I was alone. And things were not going well at home, definitely not. I would often feel depressed, like I'd cry 4 of 7 days, for no reason, I mean, I would have a reason during that time. I was trapped inside myself, I often thought people would never know the real me, I thought that if I shared my feelings or my thoughts, my real ones, I would be excluded and everyone would think I was nuts. I had never thought about taking away my life or any crazy stuff like that, and it's funny how suicide would eventually become a cause close to my heart during that time. There were some things I was not supposed to know while growing up and I would learn about those situations later: getting to know those situations really helped me to understand almost everything that was going through. Now I just close my eyes and I take a look back at the past, but I don't stop, I see the present, and I keep on walking on my road to the future. I think I've been through a lot in my childhood, but I certainly made it through, you can just see that I'm in a better place right now, physically and most importantly, mentally. University was a huge, ENORMOUS change in my life: I'm more open-minded, free, mature, and happy, I'm happier, I'M MYSELF. I've found people who I love and people who loves me, there have been ups and downs, I have experienced new things, I am experiencing new things and all I can say is: I'm myself, I thank you for reading this and probably be one of those who have made this possible.

Antonio/Nica.

viernes, 25 de mayo de 2012

Somiedo (Retazos)

Abro los ojos... Esta mañana nadie me despierta, no hay nadie alrededor, estoy en ''mi'' casa de Pola de Somiedo, camino por el pasillo descalzo. Ni siquiera desayuno, abro la puerta de casa y siento ese frescor de aire puro, no hay nada como ello y solamente lo respiro en Somiedo, en nigún otro lugar. Me dirijo al prado, sigo descalzo, salto la valla, piso tierra, hierba mojada aún por el rocío mañanero. Me voy agarrando de árbol en árbol para no caer y trepo. No busco un destino, busco libertad, no tengo nada conmigo, he dejado las llaves en casa, no tengo móvil, nada, nada, tan sólo estoy yo. Y me siento libre, siento que soy el único ser vivo en el mundo, aquella fuente que veo a lo lejos tiene buena pinta, llego a ella y bebo, el agua está congelada pero sale cristalina y buenísima. Soy libre de ataduras, de opiniones, de críticas, soy yo mismo revitalizado, mis heridas se curan, no las de mis pies descalzos y mis piernas ensangrentadas por las zarzas, si no las interiores, nadie puede hacerme daño, me lo merezco, me merezco ese silencio en el que tranquilamente contemplo mi alrededor y es todo naturaleza...

Han pasado tres horas, sale el sol, ese sol que tan fuerte pega en Somiedo... Por si no lo sabéis, estoy en el Camino Real, encima de la central hidroeléctrica de La Malva, y las vistas son acojonantes, increíbles, breath-taking, estoy encantado, aún recuerdo aquella mañana en la que bajaba por aquel camino de la mano de mi madre y con mi hermano pequeño y mi madre vio una especie de gancho en el suelo y justo antes de tocarlo nos percatamos de que se trataba de una víbora, así es la naturaleza, siempre sorprendente.

Voy volviendo al pueblo y el ruido vuelve, en los restaurantes los montañeros sacan sus mapas, aparcan a un lado sus enormes mochilas y gafas de sol y comen esos filetes con patatas en el bar de José Luis, mis padres llegan y todo vuelve a la normalidad pero he re-encontrado la libertad, y no sabéis que ganas tengo de volver a hacerlo otra vez.

jueves, 26 de abril de 2012

Ray Of Light



A veces la vida nos llena. Nos llena de sensaciones, sí, los momentos, el aire, la atmósfera, nos llena. Creo que la conclusión está en encontrarse a uno mismo y hacer lo que uno realmente desea hacer, profundizar en lo que de verdad te llega y te toca por dentro. RÍE, LLORA, GRITA, APRENDE, ERRA, DESCUBRE, pero, sobre todo, no pierdas tu visión de futuro. Nos enamoramos, nos corresponden, no nos corresponden... Bueno, el amor es ambiguo, incluso conozco a gente que no cree en él, yo sí lo hago. El amor es devoción, y si no es física, aún reside en nuestra mente, ¿no? Actúemos o no, la idea, de amor que se torna sentimiento, sigue en nuestra mente. El amor nos puede debilitar, pero no debemos perder la esperanza, y mantenernos en la búsqueda de ese rayo de luz, creo que cada ser humano tiene alguna pista para saber donde se puede encontrar.

martes, 10 de abril de 2012

How was I to know...?

A veces me gustaría entrar dentro de su mente, me gustaría saber que piensa de mí...
A veces me pregunto donde estás, te conozco pero nunca te conoceré integramente. No vivo en decadencia ni me gusta negativizar, pero no sé donde estás. Ya no se me dibuja la misma sonrisa en mi rostro, ellos lo notan, ellos lo saben, y, creo que consigo salir adelante, pero no sé donde estás. Quiero que me digas que esto no está pasando, que es toda una ilusión ficticia, por favor, es lo único que pido. Puedes quitarme todo esto, deshacerte de todas estas cosas, aún lo tendría todo contigo a mi lado, porque ya he llegado a la cima del árbol de la vida y ya no tendré miedo en el caso de volver a caer de él. No soy creyente, pero me entran ganas de rezar, rezar para que siempre estés aquí, porque sigo sin saber donde estás.

miércoles, 4 de abril de 2012

Claudia Schiffer para Net-A-Porter.com

No tengo más palabras. me encanta esta chica.

To me you are perfect.

Seriously? I mean, I'm gonna be pretty straight with this topic, you never know if you're gonna lose somebody, someday, somehow, but life happens, diseases happen, car accidents happen, in general, SHIT happens, and we can't do nothing about it. If you love someone, please, if you LOVE someone, tell that person you have those feelings, I'm speaking from my own personal experience, I told that person I was in love with, you may not have ''the next day'' : ) I thank God for having the enough strenght to do this.

martes, 3 de abril de 2012

TRY

 ''They say that when someone is crazy in love, he completely gives himself to it''

All I know is everything  is not as it's sold, but the more I grow the less I know, and I've lived so many lives... though I'm not old. And the more I see, the less I grow, the fewer the seeds the more I sow. Then I see you standing there, wanting more from me, and all I can do is try, then I see you standing there wanting more from me, and all I can do is try.

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness, and all the real people are really not real at all... the more I learn, the more I learn, the more I cry, the more I cry as I say goodbye to the way of life I thought I had designed for me. Then I see you standing there, wanting more from me, and all I can do is try, then I see you standing there, I'm all I'll ever be, and all I can do is try.

All of the moments that already passed... we'll try to go back and make them last, all of the things we want each other to be, we never will be, we never will be, and that's wonderful, that's life... That's you, baby, this is me, baby, we are, we are, we are, we are free in our love, we are... free in our love

lunes, 2 de abril de 2012

STRONGER

Ya nos lo dijo Britney, después Kanye, y ahora parece ser el turno de Kelly. Y es que está en lo cierto: lo que no mata te hace más fuerte, llega un momento en que dejas las ''pijadas'' atrás, los zorros, las zorras, everything. You get through it, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

jueves, 29 de marzo de 2012

I know you will, I know i won't

Those words fucking hurted me like a fucking knife stubbing me, stubbing me way deep inside. I know I will never be alone cause I can make it through the fire, I know you are forever by my side and if I should ever call your name you would be there, I will never make a mistake without before noticing that you are always going to be by my side. You're gonna save me from myself.

martes, 27 de marzo de 2012

NOSTALGIA.

Sometimes you miss those things, those sensations, the air... Haven't you ever seen how full your soul is at certain times? I certainly do not know how to explain it very well, but you are happy, some things change so incredibly much in such a little amount of time. I miss those sensations, but someone must always move on.

lunes, 26 de marzo de 2012

DROWNED WORLD / SUBSTITUTE FOR LOVE

I traded fame for love
Without a second thought
It all became a silly game
Some things cannot be bought

I got exactly what I asked for

Wanted it so badly
Running, rushing back for more
I suffered fools so gladly

And now I find

I've changed my mind


The face of you

My substitute for love
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love

I traveled round the world

Looking for a home
I found myself in crowded rooms
Feeling so alone

I had so many lovers

Who settled for the thrill
Of basking in my spotlight
I never felt so happy

Mmmmm, ooohhh, mmmmm

Famous faces, far off places
Trinkets I can buy
No precious stranger, heady danger
Drug that I can try
No ferris wheel, no heart to steal
No laughter in the dark
No one-night stand, no far-off land
No fire that I can spark
Mmmmm, mmmmm


Now I find I've changed my mind

This is my religion

martes, 20 de marzo de 2012

MAGIC?

Sometimes I go back in time and I remember that day in October, I remember that day as the beginning of a new chapter of my life. Since the very beginning of this, I have learned amazing things, I have experienced lots of things which I had never thought of doing. I even experienced some kind of undefined love, but I do not really want to get into that stuff. I also do not want to say that this chapter has come to his end, but I feel that because of some circunstances, an amount of magic has disappeared: this magic surfaces, embraces you and takes you to a whole new place, it's like you see the world in a different way, that's what magic means to me: it's not something tangible, it's a mix of feelings, emotions, chances, events. I certainly do not where this chapter of my life is taking me, but I'm willing to take the risk and see what happens. This is my religion.

Wish me luck.

miércoles, 8 de febrero de 2012

AND NEVER GIVE UP.

Hoy es de esos unos días en los que te quedas en shock: pero no un shock nervioso, simplemente no sabes como reaccionar ante diferentes sensaciones o estímulos, es un estado de shock porque viene de imprevisto, y la cuestión es, ¿Es peor que venga después de una mala época, o cuando las cosas están mejor? Es tan difícil de explicar... Así es la vida... ¿Podemos  explicar la vida a nivel personal, íntimo? No, pues creo que estamos en las mismas... A veces es mejor dejar todo llevar, y nunca perder la esperanza, eso es lo más importante de todo.

domingo, 5 de febrero de 2012

The rainbow

I know there is a rainbow for me to follow, to get beyond my sorrow, thunder preceeds the sunlight, so I'll be alright if I can find that rainbow's end... 


I will be alright if I can find that rainbow's end...

miércoles, 1 de febrero de 2012

Hope for the future (after struggling)

I often wondered if there's ever been a perfect family, I've always longed for undividness and sought stability... A flower taught me how to pray, but as I grew that flower changed, she started failing in the wind, like golden petals scattering and I miss you dandelion, and even love you, and I wish there was a way for me to trust you... But it hurts me every time I try to touch you... And I miss you dandelion and even love you...

I gravitated towards a patriarch so young predictably, I was resigned to spend my life with a maze of misery. A boy and girl befriended me, we're bonded through despondency, I stayed so long but finally I fled to save my sanity... And I miss you little sis, and little brother... And I hope you'll realize I'll always love you, and although you're struggling, you will recover, you're gonna make it, and I miss you little sis and little brother...

So many I considered closest to me, turned on a dime and sold me out dutifully, althought that knife was chipping away at me, they turned their eyes away and went home to sleep...

And I missed a lot of life but I'll recover, though I know you really like to see me suffer... And I wish that you and I'd forgive each other...

'Cause I miss you, and really loved you, I tried so hard but you drove me away, to preserve my sanity... And I found the strenght to break away and FLY...

To be continued