I know you will, I know i won't

Those words fucking hurted me like a fucking knife stubbing me, stubbing me way deep inside. I know I will never be alone cause I can make it through the fire, I know you are forever by my side and if I should ever call your name you would be there, I will never make a mistake without before noticing that you are always going to be by my side. You're gonna save me from myself.

NOSTALGIA.

Sometimes you miss those things, those sensations, the air... Haven't you ever seen how full your soul is at certain times? I certainly do not know how to explain it very well, but you are happy, some things change so incredibly much in such a little amount of time. I miss those sensations, but someone must always move on.

DROWNED WORLD / SUBSTITUTE FOR LOVE

I traded fame for love
Without a second thought
It all became a silly game
Some things cannot be bought

I got exactly what I asked for
Wanted it so badly
Running, rushing back for more
I suffered fools so gladly

And now I find
I've changed my mind

The face of you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love

I traveled round the world
Looking for a home
I found myself in crowded rooms
Feeling so alone

I had so many lovers
Who settled for the thrill
Of basking in my spotlight
I never felt so happy
Mmmmm, ooohhh, mmmmm
Famous faces, far off places
Trinkets I can buy
No precious stranger, heady danger
Drug that I can try
No ferris wheel, no heart to steal
No laughter in the dark
No one-night stand, no far-off land
No fire that I can spark
Mmmmm, mmmmm

Now I find I've changed my mind
This is my religion

MAGIC?

Sometimes I go back in time and I remember that day in October, I remember that day as the beginning of a new chapter of my life. Since the very beginning of this, I have learned amazing things, I have experienced lots of things which I had never thought of doing. I even experienced some kind of undefined love, but I do not really want to get into that stuff. I also do not want to say that this chapter has come to his end, but I feel that because of some circunstances, an amount of magic has disappeared: this magic surfaces, embraces you and takes you to a whole new place, it's like you see the world in a different way, that's what magic means to me: it's not something tangible, it's a mix of feelings, emotions, chances, events. I certainly do not where this chapter of my life is taking me, but I'm willing to take the risk and see what happens. This is my religion.

Wish me luck.

AND NEVER GIVE UP.

Hoy es de esos unos días en los que te quedas en shock: pero no un shock nervioso, simplemente no sabes como reaccionar ante diferentes sensaciones o estímulos, es un estado de shock porque viene de imprevisto, y la cuestión es, ¿Es peor que venga después de una mala época, o cuando las cosas están mejor? Es tan difícil de explicar... Así es la vida... ¿Podemos  explicar la vida a nivel personal, íntimo? No, pues creo que estamos en las mismas... A veces es mejor dejar todo llevar, y nunca perder la esperanza, eso es lo más importante de todo.

The rainbow

I know there is a rainbow for me to follow, to get beyond my sorrow, thunder preceeds the sunlight, so I'll be alright if I can find that rainbow's end... 

I will be alright if I can find that rainbow's end...

Hope for the future (after struggling)

I often wondered if there's ever been a perfect family, I've always longed for undividness and sought stability... A flower taught me how to pray, but as I grew that flower changed, she started failing in the wind, like golden petals scattering and I miss you dandelion, and even love you, and I wish there was a way for me to trust you... But it hurts me every time I try to touch you... And I miss you dandelion and even love you...

I gravitated towards a patriarch so young predictably, I was resigned to spend my life with a maze of misery. A boy and girl befriended me, we're bonded through despondency, I stayed so long but finally I fled to save my sanity... And I miss you little sis, and little brother... And I hope you'll realize I'll always love you, and although you're struggling, you will recover, you're gonna make it, and I miss you little sis and little brother...

So many I considered closest to me, turned on a dime and sold me out dutifully, althought that knife was chipping away at me, they turned their eyes away and went home to sleep...

And I missed a lot of life but I'll recover, though I know you really like to see me suffer... And I wish that you and I'd forgive each other...

'Cause I miss you, and really loved you, I tried so hard but you drove me away, to preserve my sanity... And I found the strenght to break away and FLY...

To be continued